What Rock Bottom Is Like

It stretches on the tip of my tongue, dangles in my memory and dwells in my heart. I can’t, even for a second, think about it all falling apart. I can’t imagine far into the future. I can’t envision it ever falling onto the ground, I can’t believe I could ever hear the sound of it all shattering to pieces. I just can’t for one second believe, that losing it all could happen to me. I was never aware that one day, I’d be scared out my mind to dare to dream about having one last time. I can’t imagine that I was bound to lose sight of my joy, that I was designed to be destroyed. I can’t believe that the day came where I didn’t matter. And the future knew that I was destined to lose this battle. I can’t believe how low my thinking and my hope has become. I can’t believe that I’m far from ever being any type of champion.

I only beg to eat, sleep, and smile. Have maybe five seconds of happiness worthwhile. And then I’ll go back to closing my eyes and gluing them together with tears. I would have never ever imagined I would have ever been brought down here.

 

Toodles

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