Life Lessons


There’s this thing called Life giving me advice about Love, trying to show me over and over what I need less of. There’s this thing called Hope giving me advice about dreams, telling me that I shouldn’t stop if I myself can create the scene. There’s this thing called Patience giving me advice about Stress, how I should keep on persevering in order to be the best. There’s this thing called Heart giving me advice about Feeling, how it’s okay to go for what you want even if others don’t find it appealing. There’s this thing called Humor giving me advice about Pain, that no matter what has happened scenarios always change. There’s this thing called Smiling giving advice about Fear, that no matter what can shake you always go…persevere. There’s this thing called Walking giving advice about Flow, that no matter if you’re confused never stop always go. There’s this thing called Stop giving advice about Peace, that if you feel too overwhelmed pause a moment, let it cease. There’s this thing called Ugly giving advice about Perspective, that no matter how they look, the heart is more reflective. There’s this thing called You giving advice about Me, passing lesson after lesson for our eyes and ears to heed.

But there’s this thing called Me giving advice about you, sometimes you need to listen, my words are valuable too.


I Will Not Stay Broken

I have to pause for a minute and laugh, because of the excess attempts you continue to toss at me
Steer my way, and yet
Even with all the bruising, scars, burns, and endless amounts of tears
I continue to persevere
As naïve as I know I am, I continue to stare into your eyes
And foil each and every plan with only a glimmer of hope in my eyes
Forever seeing the bright side
Remaining unmoved, not budging
Not held down by,

In fact I know I have nothing now
And I continue to lose more the more that I face you
But I stay strong, I get stronger
And my silence becomes the armor that I’ve been searching my entire life for
It becomes the steel plate guarding my heart
My brain shields in titanium
On some events you may have my heart fooled
But my soul knows that YOU



You have been my biggest competitor, the antagonist in my story
The villain in every scene
But I just didn’t understand how quite opposite we were
Until I literally had nothing
And looked to you
And felt the dirt fling into my eyes

My heart is now growling, my eyes are now burning
And it’s not because I hate you
And it’s not that I have forgotten what you have done to me
It is because I consciously make the decision
Here today
That I



I will not stay broken.




I Wish You Could Quit Love

Dang. He’s got my mind so tortured I can’t even think straight. My heart feels crucified and served on a fine china plate. I just can’t do it, I can’t pull myself to love another man. I can’t pull myself to love anything you understand? Just cut…deep. I can’t even begin to try and fake the mess I’ve created, all the daydreaming I’ve wasted, unwillingly receiving what I knew would be deceiving…but I just wanted to believe it wouldn’t happen again to me. That for once, Life was gonna be fair, and give me the chance to show my unconditional care, allow me to try it test it out, but without a doubt, I’ve been cast out.

I should’ve saw this coming. It really should’ve been a neon light, shining bright, screaming “Hey! Not this one! Turn right!”. Take a detour, switch lanes, anything you can to get him out of your brain. But it’s just… it’s heart breaking, soul aching, deteriorating, how love can blossom and just as quickly burn to a crisp. What really will I miss? A man that never had anything to say? A man that constantly stared me down, not even a smile would come across his face? Should I feel hurt though I feel I did a lot of reaching out on my part. Maybe the clues just weren’t big enough, but they were huge for me. Just being in his presence was a step into reality. But I guess not… he just didn’t understand. Now it’s all over and now I’M in demand.

When I wasn’t even wanting, I wasn’t looking for the love, I was just trying to set my path straight and move on just because. Because I didn’t wanna be miserable, I didn’t want no pain, I just wanted to lay the foundation that would lead to my ultimate change.

And so I’m here again, juggling the same life lesson in my lap. Love is just so sneaky and tricky I don’t know how I can learn from that. Because every situation is new, every man comes with a twist, and you think you got him figured out until you’re captured in sweet bliss. And they blind you with all that fog and make you feel it’s meant to be. Then womp, the fog is cleared and you’re the only one standing in the field.

I won’t penalize anyone ever for feeling the way they feel. It’s up to you and your emotions and if I don’t fit, just keep it real. But sometimes it’s kept too real, you don’t even get goodbyes. You just get left standing in the wide open space screaming to the high heavens “WHY!!!!”.

And that’s what I don’t like that’s what I hate about love. There’s no formal ending, you have to figure out what it was. But it’s all a slow ending that you never get repaired. You just hang the remains on the back of the door so it reminds you to stay prepared.


Lost In Love

It seems like I forgot to actually tell you in real life all the things I said to you in my dreams, I forgot to make all that about right between you and me, I forgot that while I’m gazing in your eyes and you’re waiting for me to speak, that you can’t read between my lines or the fact that you make me so weak, I forgot about how to talk to you and move past the hellos and finally ‘what’s your name’, and I surely forgot to mention the fact that I love these feelings you create, and I forgot how curious you would be of me to know how I felt about you, I forgot far too long and now here I go living my hours in blue, no stares no hellos no small curious smile no interest to reach out and touch, no laughing no calling no passing no falling no nothing I’m so out of luck, and even though I now feel you’ve written me off I’ll give my last all to see, that if I take a leap would you stand underneath and stay there to catch and hold me.



Love frightens me…





Sooooooooo much.

~ mskraizy

Closed Eyes


I close my eyes many days and many nights for it’s the only way I’m sure I’ll get close to you, I can envision your presence and erase all my fears, then melt into your arms as soon as you come near, within my closed eyes you are always in my arms, I am never alarmed nor does my heart rise in an uproar, I can soar for my heart is enlightened with peace, how much stress you can relieve in my time of need and all you need to do is just look at me.

I promise I have never felt so intimate before, though I’ve never felt your touch rest assured it’ll mean much more, for I know my inner secrets I’m so willing to share, I’m so willing to jump into you without fear without a care, but do I dare? Speak the dream? Let the idea unleash on scene? I’ve waited for this awhile for love to show itself true, I didn’t realize it’d come fast nor that it’d come through you, you’ll have to spare me minutes more than a girl who’s tested love before, I don’t know what to do with this it’s starting to feel injurious, but I love being locked in your gaze, and time stops and slows it pace, imagining you so close to my face and waiting for you to accept my embrace. I feel scared in a pleasant surprise, that’s why I never want to open my eyes. Sorry if this is too excruciatingly slow for you, but for me this is amazing and it all feels so new…

~ mskraizy

Sudden Thought

Momma said one day, they said enough, father said some day, I’m calling your bluff. There’s no deadline no time limit, this is life and we’re all just jumping in it, different ages different stages different visions different phases, and to my amazement, this is beauty we are creating, for people following along running at all kinds of paces…and speed. Magnifying the negativities, so is greed, to keep en-caged, every individual of rage, and showcase them on television, this is not who we are, this is not who they are, it’s just a tape cut-and-paste phenomenal, and this is the society I’m feeding on, sucking up and breeding from, and this is what I wanna give the kids following my trail? A long history of not caring do what you want and go to jail? I can’t, it’s not in my heart to impart that kinda dream, there’s no doing what you want and getting off scott-free, but because this is Society and because that’s what they do, I have no choice but to live and dwell and do what they want me to, how I hate the brainwashing how I hate they way it works, how I hate the ulterior motives behind the sweetest thing it hurts! I can’t put my mind together perhaps this is why I just can’t speak, just the realization that what you feel is most genuine is not even guaranteed, it’s all a hope toward the future a future that will surely dive, at the hands of greedy senator that sits on his throne to supervise. Kinda leaves a spec of anger in my eyes yeah it kinda gets my hairs standing, knowing that there’s nothing but shallow demanding, but who am I? Again just an invisible child in the distant to afraid and to frightened to fight, with her words.

The stories untold by a complicated girl.


I Can’t Stop

I haven’t given my soul time enough to get it’s mind right, so it’s sitting in the limelight stunned and paralyzed, and it’s angry with the time, it wants to drop out and die, in the darkness it can cry while the world passes it by, no hands or high fives, it’s one emotional ride, heart racing like I’ve found myself in the middle of a midnight drive by, but the bullet is only blasting the enemy racing past me but I’m too fearful to turn my head and acknowledge that it’s blasphemy, it’s hate it’s ridicule, it’s a flashback to high school, it’s a memory etched into my soul far too complex to fully know, I know no who and how I just know I’m in the now and for a girl without a doubt just know that I. Can’t. Stop.

I’m like a driver in the car driving two feet in the dark cause my lights don’t shine that far so I’m trusting in the stars, most days, it’s a wave of a crazy emotional sweat, it’s too much focus to collect and soon I end up in regret, for I thought so much these passing years and now I’m stuck with blasted fears, my heart is turning hard it’s gears but I still end up back…here.

Square one, always with a word in one hand and a decision on my back, the world on my shoulders and disappointment at my feet, wherever I go I will always have a shadow looming over me, I feel hard I act soft I speak my emotions into a song. But still it’s never gonna be enough to truly feel like I belong. It’s a world of miserable assumptions I live in, you’ll never get these voices to fade away, they’ve been following me around since pre-K no they’re never gonna go away. But I’m choosing not to listen, and I’m choosing not to drop.


I’ll be fighting tooth and nail with tears but I. Can’t. STOP.